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led astray

January 2013

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here comes the stress

Wow. Ok, today I have to study for a test on chapter 1 of my Mandarin book(s). I have a 4-5 page essay (take home test) to write for History of Christianity. Later, around 2, I have to leave for school to help James set up and run the auditions for the black box production of Phycho Beach Party. What I would like to do is play Bard's Tale, Morrowind, and maybe try SW Battlefront, and go visit the ailing Adrienne. Ahh, responsibility.

I explained to someone yesterday morning why I think I keep such high standards for myself. Right now school, in the form of grants and loans, is paying the bills. Therefore, it counts as my job, my responsibility. I have to do a good job, or I would have to go back into retail/food service. Especially now that I have recieved an application for a retention/academic scholarship for next semester. If I prove myself to be good enough, I may "earn" money that I don't have to pay back later, cutting a large chunk out of my future debt. School is my job. It doesn't pay well, but hopefully it will lead to an upgrade, or in gamer terms, a level from a training montage. So if I get upset that I only got a 90 on a quiz the other day, it's because i'm afraid of losing my job. Or something.


Gah. I know a few Nero folk who are in this position. I wish I could hand over my scholarship to you... you wouldn't have to pay a dime. Sadly, I'm not sure how to do that. Damned Tsongas scholarship!