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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

So my CAT scan showed nothing out of the ordinary. The Dr. who did my endoscopy (complete with biopsy) told my other doc that he didn't see anything unusual, but I am supposed to make an appointment to check in with him in a couple weeks. So it seems there's nothing wrong with me. That should make me happy. But it doesn't. I'm relieved and all that I don't have cancer or something awful. But nothing wrong means nothing to treat, which means I get random pain from NOWHERE. That pisses me off. I want to fix it, treat it, make it better so it won't happen anymore. If it's nothing physical, then it's mental, or "stress". To fix something physical you take pills or cut it off or avoid eating XYZ. How do you stop psychosomatic pain??? Reduce stress? Sure, when I don't have to work to feed myself and go to school so I can get better work to feed myself. Whiteleaf thinks I'm silly to be dissapointed that there's nothing physically wrong with me. But the alternative it baffling and has no forseeable course of action to implement. It goes back to the "I would rather know than not know" thing. *sigh*

Finally made it to yoga for the first time in 3 weeks last night. Then had a happy double date with the Great Bald One and his wife. We even managed to engage her in conversation several times. :)

Tonight, DnD. The Captian is comming over early and I have been told that I need to bring him to the new ice cream place (whose newness has officially worn off on me). That would be ok, except for two things: 1) I'm broke so he will have to buy, 2) I have gained some girth and am not pleased about it, so the superfat supreme ice cream is less apealing when I see the lasting effects on my gut.


I completely understand your frustration of not knowing what's going on internally. Te good thing is that right now you don't have anything that needs to be treated. The even better news is that your body's letting you know you need to try to de-stress to prevent ulcers, etc. before you actually end up with something.

Tonight, happy DnD and we get to enjoy the full body laughs of our buddies :)