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led astray

January 2013

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new deal

I've been majorly stressing over the classes and assignments I've been taking.  I'm way behind on all of them.  I believe I have thought of a solution based on the nature of the learning structure.  These classes are not for credit.  They're not for a grade.  I'm taking them because I want to learn the stuff, not impress classmates or professors.  Most Of The Content Is Downloadable.  So I'm not going to bust my ass to meet a deadline at someone else's pace when I'm struggling with material from 2 weeks ago.  There is still structure, but I can mull over a point UNTIL I GET IT and not when someone else says I should get it.  The main thing I'm lacking with this move is assignment grading.  For the most part I can know if I got it right because the program will compile, run, and return the expected outcome.  I have a couple programming friends who I can ask for those times that I can't.  So today's task is to download all the videos and assignments to my hard drive, sorted by class.  Then it won't matter if I have internet at any given moment, I can still watch the lectures.  Setting perfectionism adherent to arbitrary standards aside is difficult.  But I've done things way more dangerous than get a problem set wrong, and my brain has to adjust the level of concern over these things.  My entire life is not in peril because I don't get it yet.  So brain, STFU!  I also signed up for the next Python women's meetup in a couple weeks and I am going to set myself up with a prize, probably in the form of yarn, for going both days.

My therapist made an appointment for me to sign back up for Mass Rehab (employment, not addiction).  Sadly, it's a long process with lots of waiting and then more waiting, which was part of why I didn't follow through with it last time.  

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