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led astray

January 2013

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do what?

from the couch?

Ok, finally tried a podcast designed to work as the "couch to 5K" program.  

Week 1: What the fuck are you thinking here??  A couch potato cannot and should not be expected to run for 60 seconds at a stretch the first time out, 8 fucking times.  I say that's a stupid expectation.  I've been working up my running for a couple weeks and Week 1 was still too much for me.  Then, close to the end of the program, this asshat had the gall to say that I "shouldn't be tired or out of breath."  WTF?  That's even more stupid.  If I'm a couch potato and it's the first time i'm running Of Course I'm Tired And Out Of Breath, or I wouldn't need your fucking program.  Thanks for making me feel like a failure, doubled.

Therapy was crummy.  She decided not to do something she said she would do, kinda to test me.  I'm upset about it.  I hate that any time I stand up for myself, someone thinks I'm just being belligerent or symptomatic.  

Grandma sent me 2 boxes of CRAP she couldn't pass up at yard sales and flea markets even though she KNEW she wouldn't use them, but she can't throw anything away, so she spent $30 shipping it to me so I can throw it out and eat the guilt for not liking something she gave me even though it's TRASH and I of course had to call and thank her for the JUNK.

Fuck running.  Fuck therapy.  Fuck grandma.  I'm going to bed early.  *harumph*