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led astray

January 2013

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led astray


Last night's dream involved 3-5 tiny fish in a cup that I was saving from some horrible fate.  3 of them were clearly visible, though small.  Sometimes, if I looked closely, I could make out one or two more that were just barely visible size.  I was trying to figure out which kind of yarn would be most nutritious for them to eat because that was all I had (and in dream land tiny fish can eat yarn).  I think there was a flood or something and there was definitely an impression of a house that was bigger than it looked, but I couldn't get to much of it.  I was mostly trying to protect the tiny fish.  Spider was there, I think, but he wasn't involved much in the plot.

I <3 the automated post office mail booth.  I can go when no one is there being cranky.

Today I'm cleaning my room some in preparation of the switch and possibly going to sylvan's again, this time armed with Red Hat Linux, since my machine said no.  The book said to defrag and backup my hard drive before partitioning and installing, but it turns out I don't have enough space on my hard drive to perform a backup (even after erasing unused program files and disk cleanup).  *sigh*  Oh well.  The exercise is good for me.  It's a mile each way to their place.

I need to purge books and VHS tapes.  Does Salvation Army take that kind of stuff?  

*** later
Whew, some days my legs and feet tense up as soon as I start walking and I get this crick in my lower-left back.  Blech, it makes walking suck.  The answer is probably something like 'walk more'.  Heh.  But I went to the grocery store because we were out of garbage bags (hard to do a stuff purge without them) and Tink food.  Walking back with a bag full of milk and seltzer didn't help the leg and back pain.  At this point, I'm not sure if I'll make it to Sylvan's.  I kinda have the room purge vibe going and the trip to the store was physically unpleasant.  I should go anyway.  Must not nap.  I'll be honest, I probably won't do much more with the room today.  Throwing things away is hard on my psyche.

Breakfast was an apple.  Lunch was 2 organic eggs, a light english muffin, and a sweet potato.

*** even later
It's 5:15 and I'm not sure what to do with myself.  I played Skyrim for a while, did laundry and put it away, did some dishes, looked online for jobs...I feel like I've been holding my breath for so long and I just can't wait to breathe again.  I could so easily go to bed for the rest of the night right now, even though I was in bed for 12 hours last night.  It's dark and cold and lonely and Tink is literally yelling at me to go to bed and snuggle her.  I feel my old friend don't-belong-here and her buddy have-to-leave on my back.  They never walk for themselves.  Is it awful to go get myself a bottle of wine with Christmas money that should go towards my overdue credit card bill?  Probably.  Will I take a walk in the cold and dark without a definite place to go/purpose?  Probably not.  I'm keeping afloat with swimmies that used to be full of hope, but are nearly depleted.  Something has got to give.  I have a trepidation that I'm not finished falling...