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led astray

January 2013

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It would be so easy to stay in bed forever. Yesterday I was up for a grand total of 5 hours. Something in me decided I needed to rest. Maybe. I don't know where I am or what I"m feeling. I'm shut off a lot of the time. Sylvan got me a new (to me) novel. I'm 100 pages in and I don't care about any of the characters yet. I don't know if that's just my brain not liking anything it encounters lately. It was effort to even be up and watch Deadwood with friends last night. I'm slightly less lethargic today, but I feel I could waste away another day in bed. Tink thinks that's the best idea ever. Boy is sick. It's gorgeous out and I should get out. I should go deposit $10 in my bank account so I don't become overdrawn today when the collections agency takes $50 out (there's $43 in there). I'm supposed to make appetizers for 13 people for tomorrow, but I seriously do not want to go food shopping on black friday. Some of me is hot and some of me is cold. I both do and do not want to go visiting today. Is it too late for me to do something grand with my life? Is all my youthful vigor gone forever? Will I never be hard-bodied and gorgeous again? Can this old dog learn the new tricks needed? What have I done with Me? Where have I gone? Am I still in here somewhere? How do I wake Me up? The answers will not be found in my pillow.

Martin and Clau brought me a care package of Thanksgiving dinner, complete with bacon and cider. How awesome is that? Very.


I think that having a low time is necessary. Perhaps I'm just trying to justify my own low times, but I can also say that there are plenty of not-low times eventually.

That being said, I hope you find joy soon.
Thank you lady. Emotional support is always welcome. (((hug)))