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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

coming down

The small job and following weekend was awesome, but I'm starting to come down from the excitement and positive reinforcement and back into the scared shitless zone. Today's big task is to keep hope afloat. I intend to tear through some granny squares and try to get this slightly epic shawl to come together. I have a project. I have a new show (watching the X-Files for the first time). I have 2 days worth of pay on its way. I have amazing people who love and care about me.

I feel like this might be unhealthy, but I think I enjoyed working at the methadone clinic for the same reason I enjoy watching horror movies; perspective. I see these people who are really having a hard go of it and my problems are dwarfed by comparison. I know I shouldn't get my self-worth through comparison to other people, but knowing that a genuine smile is worth a lot to people who normally get ignored or run off, and that I can give them that...I've merged several thoughts into that one rambling sentence and I don't care to go back and fix it.

It's already hot. Just turned on my AC. Getting ready to settle in with my project and cross my toes (fingers will be busy) for another temp assignment soon.

Comments

No, you shouldn't get the entirity of your self worth from comparing to others, but a dose of perspective on "Hey, maybe I'm not doing as shitty as I could be..." can be something positive to hang onto when you feel like you're at the bottom of the well. *hugs*

Glad to hear about the temp job and that it went well. I'll cross *my* fingers for you to get another in similar vein. :-)
Not the entirety...I have some I get from romance, oh wait. ;-)