Log in

No account? Create an account
led astray

January 2013

Powered by LiveJournal.com
led astray

lessons, learned and unlearned

Screwing up my meds has consequences. I take them all together, but some of them are more time sensitive than the others...like birth control. Getting my period when i'm not expecting it sucks even worse than getting it when I am expecting it. But then, I've been a complete fuck-up for a few weeks now, so it shouldn't have surprised me. Today I must de-chaos my environment. *want company who won't mind kicking me in the butt while I whine*

On the bright side, the small instance of poison ivy reaction I experienced (for the first time) has been beaten by my body quite handily. Hooray for something going right!! Legends camp was COVERED in poison ivy. I only got a bit on my forearms, and even that I didn't notice without looking at it.

I need a damn job.

This weekend I was tested in several ways. I failed a couple small ones, but I passed the biggest one and I'm proud of myself for that. Someone orchestrated a situation suitable for seduction. I was tempted, to be sure. But that's a lesson I may have finally learned. I did not participate. I saw it coming, ignored it, hoping I was wrong, and when it became clear that this was leading down a path I didn't want to walk, I stepped off. I left my rp in my imagination and went the fuck to bed. I must insist on intimate relations being meaningful, and not just casual stress relief. I know this person doesn't have affection for anything beyond my body, and that's not enough anymore.

I am weary.