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led astray

January 2013

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walking dreams

Oh, dreams. I have dream themes that repeat, if not necessarily recurring dreams. Last night I had one from the "Hard to Walk" series. In these dreams, I need to get somewhere by foot and find this to be the most difficult and monumental task. Walking is slow and takes mounds of effort that sometimes wake me up sweating from exertion. The reasons are different, but the effect is the same. I think last night it was a movement-limiting skirt and a desire to be barefoot against the suggestions of passing strangers. Every step is a labor akin to hauling OOG tubs up the old Caldarian hill in the dark and rain. Even in the dreams I know this is way more difficult than it ought to be. I've flown in dreams, had amazing sex, told off people who needed it, found ways to make everything ok, and wasn't afraid of crashing in a plane with Freddie Crueger, but I have trouble walking. There were also elements of rejection, being lost, being late, and an impending doomy feeling that after all the effort, the destination wasn't going to be any better than the starting point. The part that sticks with me is the the futility of all this effort, all this walking through hip-high drying glue.

I still think what happened was bullshit, but on some level he was right. I shouldn't have been texting. I was taking cues from people around me instead of naturally bringing my best. That registers as problematic behavior. Goodie. More work to do.



Its weird, the dreams I've been having lately have frankly scared the crap out of me. I spent the night on a friends couch and woke up screaming, thinking I was being buried. night before last i dreamed of myself losing control. Like I could not stop myself running down a steep set of stairs, stone with broken glass strewn all about. I kept running faster and faster and I could not stop myself. I knew I would fall, but I could not stop.
Like I said, weird. I used to have such nice dreams. Now the only ones I remember are the ones that make me sweat.

Regardless, I wish you good dreams, and rest.
Exciting dreams and insight, joyful dreams and laughter,
and dreams you don't remember, but that still wake you with a smile.

Re: ..Dreams

I don't think I've had Good dreams in a long time. The best I get is strange. Things are not as they should be. (((hug)))

Re: ..Dreams

Things seldom are. Well. You havs your peeps girl. You can count me as one rooting in your corner.
"Rah, rah, sis boom bah" and all that.
Log me as as one of your many members for venting if you wish. You can never have too many.

Re: ..Dreams

Thanks, I will.
Hoyce sends his best. Not his mediocres, but his best.