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led astray

January 2013

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I have some mom processing going on. One of the main things that prevented my mother from giving me the love and attention I needed from her is something I struggle with in my own life. I don't like that fact. I know I'm doing better than she ever did, but it sucks to have to bump up against the same behaviors in myself. I can get a grip on it, but I have to work very hard to hold onto it. It's men. Romance. It's my favorite drug. Mother's too.

Oh, and I had terrible helplessness and abuse dreams night before last. Just awful.

But Katie was a darling and went to get me some foam core and a Styrofoam head so I could take better pictures of my stuff to put up on etsy. And I did. :-D I kind of like the vision she has of me as the brilliant shut-in artist, with her as my assistant. Wish I could pay her for it. Told her I can pay in hats.


::big safe hugs::
It make suck and be really hard, but one great thing you have over your mother is that you *see* the problem and are trying really hard to deal with it. It might not feel like much, but it's actually a really big deal. *HUGS*

BTW, the pink and black stripy hat with the floppy pompom is really cute! I may have to think of colors and commission you for one like it. :-)
I have a skein on its way with your name on it.