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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

weekend

I had a nice visit with sistahraven, druidwolf, and Boo. There were tasty noms and craftiness. It was a long stretch of sobriety. I was nervous at first, full of fear that my friends wouldn't like me anymore. That fear isn't based on reality. It's my brain telling me that absence makes the heart forget. Agoraphobia compounds its own interest. I started to warm up towards the end of the day. I even played with Boo a little. Next time i'll have to color some more.

Yesterday I cleaned kitchen surfaces above the floor, played a tiny bit of Oblivion, started a hat. Not much else. I considered going to the old man's birthday dinner, but I didn't have it in me to handle a large crowd of people in a small place. And I'm not a bad friend for staying home. (The only person telling me so is myself.)

Fuck you, inner turmoil! You dampen my ability to have fun and I want you to please knock it the fuck off. Sexuality is not the only way to get attention, nor is it the best way. There is more to me and I can find other ways to connect and interact with people. It's really difficult for me to find the balance between being sex-positive and being a doormat with a moist hole. :-/

Comments

Yah. We still love you. :)
(((hug))) TY