making my way

*that's Oh squared

 As the finality of what has really gone on struck a final blow today, I paused in recollection of a discussion Scarn and I had about shame and rage manifesting as violence in PTSD children (and adults).  Rage and shame share the same neural co-op with some other bad-feeling emotions.  Hurt triggers them all, and they don't communicate well, so hurt feels bad feels like the need to defend oneself (manifest in shame and rage) leads to violence.  Socialization proscribes a different manifestation of what kind of violence is socially acceptable for women.  That can be, let me tell you, restrictive.  So going with this as my premise, I need to, in a structured setting, safely release some aggression.  I am setting a goal for myself.  I need physical activity.  And I could stand to smoke less weed.  And I need to stay The Fuck away from Men.  (The jury is still in deliberations about Women.)  Perhaps I'll go LARP a few seasons.  Beat on some people and let some people beat on me in a socially accept...er, less unacceptable way. 

Oh, and that's why bitches be crazy, really.