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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

evening blahs

This day started out great.  I was in good spirits to the point of being friendly to random people I chanced to pass by.  A couple hours in, I felt like I had just gotten there.  Then it started to turn when an office mate started talking about her wedding plans.  I don't mind people talking about their kids or their weddings (within reason).  I can see how that could be great for some people, it's just not for me.  This girl started talking about how she was picking out her bridesmaids...by who would look good in the wedding photos.  No, really.  And they would say "fat" in Cantonese and think no one could figure it out from context.  One of her friends even knew she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid because she was too fat.  Half an hour later they had moved on to the passive-aggressive traps they would set up in case certain friends or family showed up.  Really?  Isn't that day supposed to be about celebrating loved ones??  C'mon, you harpy!  So I put my headphones on.  All this while I am unable to open my drawer or stand in front of them for the giant box of overly blown up company football toys.  Why are there footballs?  Some trade show marketing thing.  Ok.  Why do we have to blow them up and then spend the week (or more) tripping over them??  Time passed.  Around 2:30 I got the urge to run home and spin.  It's great progress that it took more than half the day!  But the slope is slippery.  Feelings of fatigue, futility, hopelessness, inadequacy, and so forth bubbled up in me.  Then the usual compliment of brain goo.  So I'm going to go eat dinner and spin, and then maybe do some chores.


::headdesk:: Picking your bridesmaids by look? She's going to have an appropriately hollow day.
Yea... The way people plan weddings today is all about pure vanity. Where to get married. "AT THE MOST EXPENSIVE PLACE SO EVERYONE THINKS I'M SUPER SPECIAL!" What dress to get. "THE MOST FABULOUSLY BIG AND RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE ONE SO EVERYONE THINKS I'M SUPER PRETTY AND GORGEOUS AND OMG SPESHUL!" Where to have the honey moon. "OMG! LIEK AT TEH MOST EXPENSIVE HOTEL AT TEH MOST EXPENSIVE AND BEAUTIFUL PLACE SO EVERYONE KNOWS I'M SPESHUL AND PRETTY AND OH-SO-AWESOME! Then I can oogle at all the hawt guys around and fantasize about cheating on my new husband!"


Anywho... I share some of those "at day's end" feelings sometimes. Namely on the days that start well too. Everything just ends so... Blah.

But, life goes on. Another day, another battle. Gotta make the best of what we've got, right?
Yeah. (((hug))) I have a lot going well, but the little stuff finds holes in my armor.