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led astray

January 2013

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creeping anxiety

I know it has only been 1 business day since I applied for new jobs, but I can't pretend I don't want an answer rightnowomg.  I put in applications for clerical positions at St. E's (a 1.5 block walk from my place).  I'd be doing about the same work, but without 2 hours on public transit a day and for a reasonably good cause.  I could start to feel like I'm doing something actually helpful to people.

I also got enrolled in an info session about the accelerated nursing program at UMass Boston.  This particular program is for people who already have an undergraduate degree.  It offers a BS in 15 months, but they are full months.  They expect you not to have time to work.  And there isn't as much Financial Aid for a second undergrad degree, so that means loans.  There are grants and scholarships, but I have to prepare for the worst case.  I really don't like this idea.  I can't really pay off the loans I already have.  To accrue more seems obscene.  But I would almost be guaranteed a job when I was done, and a well paying one, I'm told.  But when I was scanning to job listings on the St E site, I noted that EVERY listing for nursing positions (and there were more than a dozen) was for part-time or per-diem.  Very uncool.  But that's just one hospital.  I hear claims of nursing shortages and good pay, but I hear claims about many things.  I know I can do it.  I am terrified of the coming struggle.  I also know from insight and experience that my Fear is a great and terrible thing that is 9 times out of 10 is way worse than the subject of the fear.  But it's there.  It gives me nightmares.  Last night I dreamed that Q and I had a huge fight.  There is no reality to that.  He's a good influence.  

The wedding reminded me how much I miss people.  Got to get on that.


Nurses are almost always in desperate need - but most often, hospitals are in need of nurses for odd shifts, rotating hours, etc. - but yes, you're pretty much guaranteed a job at most hospitals, it's just what hours, and how frequently, they will want you to work (or not).
A good friend of mine is in the UMASS nursing program and she is loving it. She lives in Brighton, just started the program last month and got a job at ST. E's as an internship and she's getting paid for it at the same time. I can give her your email address if you want some first hand opinion on the program :)
BTW - loans aren't as bad as they seem. I have a crap ton of loans from my masters degree, but the good thing is while I was getting my degree I could put my undergrad loans in deferment so that I wasn't paying anything until after I graduated.
And school loans are considered "good" debt, you can even usually get a tax break from them :) and if it gets you a career you like, I say it's worth it :)
That would be great, thanks! *daydreams about work being 2 blocks from home*
I don't mind odd hours sometimes. It's nice to be home when everyone else is at work so I can get stuff done.