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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

in the clearer light of morning

The biggest changes can be so subtle I sometimes don't recognize them.  I get my own head stuck up my own ass sometimes and all I see is shit.  What I don't always realize in those moments is that it's my own shit I've been eyeballing.  Q stands up pretty well against my whining with a very patient but focused determination.  To be fair to other patient people, I am a lot easier to wrangle these days.  The subtlety is that I don't care about going to work (read 'care' as provoking unhealthy anxieties and judgments about the hand I've been dealt) today.  I'm going to go and do my job and I know (today, anyway) that there is more to me than that ridiculous job.  This is the state I aspire to maintain, to be ok when everything is not just how I want it.  I'm taking great leaps in my patience lessons.

Rather than buying some Noro Silk Garden (Webs discontinued colors) to make a stripey Summer shirt, I busted out some Rayon yarn I got from a random sale in CT a couple years back and started making a shirt similar to the one I imagined.  It's interesting looking.  It's stiff and wirey now, but I know that one soak will leave it feeling like silk.  The stripes are aqua and royal blue, then I'm going to use some leftover white wool/bamboo blend for cap sleeves, collar, and hem.