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led astray

January 2013

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led astray


Overate again tonight. I need to learn when to stop. If I can do it with drugs and cigarettes and alcohol, you'd think I could just put down food when I have had enough. And it's always the worst foods for me. Tonight it was deep dish pizza. So not good for me. Too bad i'm not wealthy. I rarely feel icky after eating too much sushi! I go most of the day with little more than crackers and a bit of dried fruit, and by the time I get home, I just start eating and don't stop till I'm close to vomiting. And that's not even considering the biological component of how bad it is to eat such a big meal before being sedentary for the evening/night. It probably goes back to when I was what I like to call "peas for dinner poor", living with my dad in a shack on a dirt road in Georgia and literally eating a can of beans for dinner because that was all we had. So I have this bodily memory of being hungry, so my body wants to gorge itself every time I get hungry because it doesn't realise that there will be more food later. It's a difficult thing to regulate when I have the leisure to, but this school day diet thing is really throwing me off. Next semester I am definately scheduling myself a lunch break.