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led astray

January 2013

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doll

tra-la-la

I'm reconsidering decisions made long ago about what I am Willing to do for money.  The prospect of wiping up bodily goo seems less and less repulsive to me as I sit in the mail room and hear all the latest about Beyonce and Jay-Z.  I shied away from the medical profession out of spite for most of my life planning (if you could call it that).  Mother, aunt, and grandmother, all people I don't care for, hold medical jobs/degrees.  But it's what I do.  People get hurt, I take care of them.  I just know how.  It would be better if I had the book knowledge to go along with my proclivity.  I've packed and cleaned open wounds, removed embedded foreign objects, removed a stitch, given injections, and all kinds of things.  I think I could get used to the gross stuff.  I know I'm smart enough.  I think my biggest worry is supporting myself while getting schooling.  A second Bachelors degree doesn't qualify for as much financial aid.  I could do it.  When I got to Boston, I was taking 5 classes and working 2 part time jobs.  I did it full bore for 3 years.  It was a struggle, for certain.  I've gotten control of a lot more in the last few years.  I can do it, and do it better.  If I get into UMass Boston's program, I could do it in an accelerated 15 month program which I think gets me an RN in addition to the BS, but I'd have to double check.  

I know school won't make this struggle easier, but this sunbeam and this Tink and this cozy bed, I reeeeeeeeally don't want to go to work.  But I want new sheets.  I need new sheets.  How I get new sheets is by going to work.  GO!

Comments

The usual warning applies: if you get into human medicine, you will be helping people. You are required to help assholes as much as you're required to help good people. You might be helping a rapist, murder, or other horrid person to get better. The person you help may be trying to harm you for helping.

I'm sure this is something you've considered, and I want to state the obvious nonetheless. If the general populace isn't up your alley most of the time, you may want to aim your medical training towards something like hospice, elder care, or a specific type of clinic (outpatient surgery, etc.)
Playing Issy for so long really helped me learn what I can tolerate to heal someone. She was saintly, and it gave me a lot of practice overlooking what a horrible person someone is. I'm not as Good as Issy, but she's in me. I've thought about Hospice work. I'll have to do some mental gardening before deciding if that's right for me. The UMass program has a geriatric specialization master's program if I decide to go that way. :-)