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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

school stress

Ugh. I am so dissapointed with myself. I got a grade that was B-/B on an English paper. The unfortunate part is, though he left lots of comments, I could only make out some of them and they didn't seem to connect with my grade in any real way to tell me how to do it better next time. Damnit. I keep telling myself that this is going to be better than high school. I am going to do the work and do it right and do it all. I have such a hard time doing homeowrk when everyone else is playing video games or sitting around talking or watching nifty cooking shows or cooking. I have trouble doing homework when I NERO is so close and so many people I know are involved. And I don't like to stay at school to do work because it's always so frikkin cold and then there's an hour of public transportation back home, and my hunnie is there and I want holding time. And essays? Forget it! I have panic attacks the minute I sit down in front of the computer, even if I know the material, moreso if it's a topic I don't quite understand like the problem of evil paper that went out just before NERO. I have to thank E for putting up with me, because I was being extremely difficult. *sigh* I never developed those good study habits in high school because I was too busy trying to get out of the house away from my mother. And I know that's not a good excuse not to buckle down and learn them now, but I am so used to being resistant that changing this pattern of goofing off till test time is a real problem.

I do not want to be a teacher. I do not want to be an editor.
I want to be an actor. That's right, I said it out loud.

We're taking Tink to the vet this week.

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