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led astray

January 2013

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January 17th, 2013

led astray


I am so tired.  I've bounced from project to project and not sustained work for more than a few minutes.  I ate and cleaned up the kitchen, as far as responsibilities go.  Other than that I have barely enough energy to type this.  The partial hospitalization is exhausting.  Group therapies of varying kinds all day, plus I walk a mile to and from the bus.  The walking isn't, I think, what's tiring me out.  Even still I hear some of their stories and judge my own as trifling by comparison and my brain says I don't need this and I should leave the program.  But I know I am benefiting.  I'm so tired, but I feel like I've done nothing all day because I didn't produce anything (including money).  None of my projects has been able to perk me up, but it's not time for bed yet.  I need to stay on my sleep schedule so my meds don't get out of whack.  Neck, back, shoulders, and hips are all sore.  I considered starting to make a rice based heat pad, but I just couldn't.  Grandma called last night.  I processed a bit of it today in group.  Told her about the program.  She didn't give me too much grief, but had called to tell me about a wonderful employment idea she had (in FL of course) based on assumptions, both of the need and my knowledge, that were just silly.  I am not qualified to be anyone's techie just because I can check my email without having to refer to a manual.  On the bright side, I've lost 4ish pounds this month between the walking and the not comfort eating.  I'm still getting plenty of calories and 3 meals a day, but it's nice to be able to stop when I don't want anymore food, if that makes sense.  

I patched an eyesore hole in my winter jacket.  It's held on with glue right now, but I'll probably sew it on properly some day soon when I have the energy.  It was all I could do to get it assembled today.
coat patch