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led astray

January 2013

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do what?

venting


Seeing someone else's grandmother cry might be worse than seeing your own grandmother cry.  I forgot how dramatic things can get when there's family involved.  I haven't had to deal with that in a while. 

And furthermore, why do I maintain stupid crushes on stupid boys who don't give a crap??  Or assholes?  Why do I still seek approval and attention from them?  It serves no purpose.  I don't want a relationship right now.  I'm getting to know me better and I like my time.  So why thn does my mind wander to the positive things about a particular person, or the way they rustle their hair before work in the morning, or that kiss on my shoulder when he thought I was asleep?  Fuck you!  I have better things to think about!  I have grander dreams to dream!  I have more realistic things to hope for!  So fuck you!  I don't want you in here anymore!  Be gone from me, hellspawn!  Lord'a mercy! 

Whew.  I think it's time to kill electrons.

Comments

1) your heart doesn't know limits, timelines, or ends of relationships. It does its own thing.

2) your subconscious will do a lot of things to protect you from delving deeper and encountering things. If you're on the verge of a breakthrough, while on your journey of alone-time and celibacy, it most assuredly will toss distractions at you to change your mind.

Hugs!
(((hug)))