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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

up and out

Feeling better today, as far as stomach goes.  Buuuuut I woke up at 4:30am with a migrane.  Migrane, however, is treatable.  *as of 5 minutes later, stomach is churning again*

I clearly need to practice lace more.  I keep winding up with extra sitches on my rows.  It's a knitted lace pattern, so I have no idea what each row should look like and if I fuck up once, it fucks up the whole works.  Very opposite of the calming effect knitting normally has.  I made an entire shirt in feather & fan and it didn't give me nearly this much trouble.

I still have a floor and a dresser.  I need to put my LARP stuff away.  It isn't going to be used for a while and I need the floor space.  And the closet space.  Should aquire some cedar spray for storage.

I have to learn every lesson the hard way.  I blame my upbrining.  I was lied to so often, I had to try things out because I didn't believe what the guardian figures told me.  I would test constantly and find inconsistancies.  If any of it had made sense, I could maybe do without the need to touch the fire to see if it burns.  I watched my niece take in a lesson.  She said out loud, "Oh, that's why mommy tells me ___!"  Lesson learned without harm.  The lesson was put in context and validated.  Now Niece will have more reason to listen to her mother in the future.  I didn't really have those moments.  There were so many things wrong that everything may as well have been wrong.

Comments

You reacted to your environment with the rebellious response. While it limits you in some ways, it also means you do not blindly accept the oft-spoken bullshit present in many aspects of society. If someone tells you something, you investigate it. You can reach a point where you're in balance, like your niece, being able to both accept something's probably true while also making sure, in a safe way, that it is.