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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

but why, tummy?

Stomach ache drove me home early from work.  Pain and discomfort.  The root cause?  Who can say.  I'm sure it was partly that Cubano sandwich I had last night, and some of it is my pants being too tight at work (yeah, the new ones I bought because i got too big for my old ones, yeah, they're too tight now [time to watch what I eat]).  I came home and passed the fuck out for 3 hours and got up to use the bathroom. 

Got an email from the professor I owe that paper to.  Turns out this is the last semester they will let me turn in the paper without having to retake the class.  So, weekend plans have been changed to paper writing instead of crunchy-ing at ToV.  *pout*  Maybe next time.

Re-starting The Artist's Way.  Writing on the bus is hard.

So hungry, but tummy is still unhappy.  Damnit.  We're out of saltines.  And green juice.

My goals for this week:
- go to work every scheduled day
- outline paper and begin reading source material
- not fall and die in my deathtrap of a room

Gave someone an emailed intervention today.  It might backfire and make me the badguy (again), but I am hoping that putting my feelings out there will have the desired effect.  I care and I want things to be better.  And I'm no friend if I don't say something.  I waited too long as it is.  I don't think anyone else will do it for fear of rocking the boat.  Fuck it.  I'm on the shore.  Start paddling before I turn around and walk away.  Again.  It hurts me to see the despair in you.  I never stopped caring, but I have had to walk away.  I will not stand by and watch you drown in a foot of water when you could stand up.


Duly sending tummy-get-bettering and people being chill vibes.