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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

some update, some ranting


Hi.  I didn't send pissy emails to everyone, but I was pissed off at work this week when, after 5 months, I was told that my flower tattoo is not appropriate and it needs to be covered.  *sigh*  But I see this as an opportunity to accessorize and an excuse (as if I need one) to knit little lacy things.  And some big obnoxious things too.  I'm both amused and ripshit.  But I sent my resume in at the request of the tech department manager to be considered for a full time position, so I didn't make a fuss.  I said ok and put my scarf back on.  Willing, not willful.  Hooray for an opportunity to practice my long forsaken DBT.  Today is knitting and laundry day.  I want to get a couple simple neck pieces cranked out for next week.  I wear my hair up most of the time to keep it out of my face and because it gets really warm in the room I work in.  Some supportive Ravelers sent me links for inspiration.  And sistahraven is going to help me send a whispered 'fuck you' by crocheting me a flower that looks like my tattoo to wear at work.  I'll wear it when I'm feeling petty.  I'm not above such things.  ;-)  But the wind was taken out of my ripshit sails when I discovered an accident on my paycheck on Wednesday...to the tune of $2/hr more than I was making! 

If you haven't seen Zack and Miri Make a Porno and don't want it spoiled, do not read below the cut.  To begin with, it was really cute and Hoyce and I wanted to watch it because it reminded us a lof of us.  Even their apartment looks like ours.  About halfway through the movie, the similarities end and I stop enjoying the inherent humor spoofing porn carries.  Once they have sex, Zack and Miri tumble down the mountain of sexual assumptions that pretense monogamy and serial divorce.  He takes her out of scenes with other men.  She tells another girl that it's ok to have sex with Zack, but she doesn't mean it, she's "testing" him.  We're led to believe he fails.  Then she gets angry that he failed.  Ok, the game playing is enough to piss me off as someone addicted to honesty.  If it's not ok, say so.  If you say it's ok, you are not allowed to get pissed when it happens.  That's bullshit.  Fucking communicate with each other!  Add to that the assumption that if you have sex with someone, they get to decide who you get to have sex with (usually only them).  My body, my choice, does not stop and start with abortion and rape.  I don't believe in exclusive rights.  Some people are happy that way, and that's fine for them.  That's not who I am.  Sex is a form of communication for me.  So the movie stopped being funny for me when the classic hetero-normative dating assumptions got to be an integral part of the plot.  Thanks, brain, for ruining my fun.  But it's not my brain's fault for finding flaws in a movie's ethos.  Fuck you, production company, for turning a perfectly funny movie into an akward romance movie wherein I have no respect for the protagonists and don't care about their petty issues.
 
Other than that rant, I'm feeling pretty good.  Not having to wear the sleeping bag out every day is a simple pleasure not lost on me.  Soon it will be open windows time and making the back porch a neat place to sit and read in the afternoons. 

Comments

Wow. You'd think it would have been mentioned in the employee handbook, where it should be! Bastards. Kat Von D is about to put out a line of tattoo-covering makeup through Sephora. I can also let you know when that comes out for the summer months when scarves are harder to tolerate.

With the movie - it's good to know in advance that those things are involved; I'd have no interest in watching it! As a person for whom monogamy can work (which is funny considering we're open, we just have no interest outside each other for the foreseeable future), I'm just as irritated at all the fucking mindgames most people play, and expect, in a relationship.

One of Druid and my strengths as a couple is the "we say what we mean" rule. We know each other's preferences that warning and checking-in with the other before sex with someone else is had, and we've always stuck with that. If he had interest in someone else, and I didn't want Druid to have sex with someone else, I'd say so, and I can't think of a reason why he'd do it if I asked him not to. But I also wouldn't state a preference if it was no other reason than "you're mine" - because he's NOT mine. He's his, and he chooses to spend his life with me.

But I think that's the issue - most people cannot grasp that their spouse isn't another possession within their realm of control. The most successful exclusive relationships I've seen have the understanding that a partner is not a possession to be controlled, but someone whose rhythm matches with your own.
Tattoos are allowed for in the handbook...at maganerial discretion.
Great. I wonder why they take umbrage to it.
*shrug* I've started the ladder of collars. One simple, and half of a woven pattern. I'll post some pics s I finish them. :-)
I had the same problems with the movie as well.
Good! It wasn't just me. Even my married friends were annoyed. There are so many movies I want to remake.