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led astray

January 2013

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i'm not dumb (repost from myspace)


I am not dumb.  I did not do this to myself.  I didn't do anything wrong, and really, neither did he.  We were both honest, and just wound up wanting different, incompatible things.  There were things he said and did that bothered me, as I'm sure there were things I said and did that bothered him.  Do I think we would have made a good team?  Absolutely.  Is it the end of the world for my heart?  Nope.  Will I bounce back and start seeing anyone again soon?  How the fuck should I know?    He's a neat guy and I hope we can still hang out and do fun things together like sledding.  He was honest with me, and what more could I reasonably ask of anyone?  We're having one last date (official unofficial break-up date?).  Not sure where or when, but I don't think it will be as akward or sad as it sounds in print.  I did have a small breakdown over the whole mess, but it was over in a day, and I don't think I went too crazy.  Within acceptable limits. 

In other news, I have new meds that worked rather quickly and are quite cheap.  An example: The day after my first dose of this new med I had therapy.  It was 20 degrees without the wind chill.  I missed the bus by a block, and knew the next one wouldn't be there for 45 minutes.  So I walked to therapy for the first time.  It actually felt pretty good.  Pre-new med, I would have either skipped out on therapy, or been anxious and angry while freezing in the cold waiting for the next bus and it would have ruined my day.  Huzzah for better living through chemistry!  Also, I had a small emotional epiphany while purchasing a parting gift for the Last Date.  If I can redirect the time, energy, willingness, and compassion I give to other people onto myself, I'd be doing pretty well.  Now all I have to do is make it happen.  Simple, but not easy.

Comments

Whew, been missing you here (I don't do the MySpace thing so I miss a lot).

*big hugs*
I haven't posted to either in a while, so you didn't really miss anything. :-) (((hug)))
I don't think I even knew the boy in question, though I'm sorry to hear you're breaking up.

And yay for new meds and epiphanies!