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led astray

January 2013

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down with the sickness

That's me alright.  On the one hand, I believe I have the flu.  That will pass.  The other should be so mild.

I am depressed.  It's getting pretty bad again.  The anxiety is way down, which is good.  I went to a holiday-time mall and held a crying baby without incident.  Impressive.  However, motivation to do anything is lacking.  The usual trouble getting out of bed, going downstairs, even knitting!  I had to force myself to knit the past few days!  Unbelievable!  I'm obsessing about cutting.  I haven't, and I do not intend to.  But it's scary sometimes how strong the urge is.  I need to try something different.  Problem is, changing my meds will whack me out for a couple weeks at least, and I don't want that during the semester.  So I have to wait.  And therapy seems to be going nowhere.  I might have to switch again.  I have both med and therapy appointments today, so hopefully we can find a temporary solution to get me through until major change can happen.  This sucks.  Nothing is fun.  The best I get is mild interest, and I'm finishing my sweater through sheer stubbornness.

So I'm pretty much just hanging around, trying not to delve too deep.


You're welcome to come chill in Maine for a few days should you need it. Our only big plans are going to Pumpkin Land and putting up some orange and purple lights.
Seems to be the time of year for it - things have dropped away to all grey for me too.