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led astray

January 2013

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Those Days

While I'm feeling better in general, I still have Those Days, the days when no positivity seems able to penetrate, the days when I whine and bemoan my life, the days when I just want to cry for no reason.  The percentage of Those Days has decreased a good deal.  But now and then something minuscule will seem catastrophic and displace me in time and progress.  Today I got on the scale and I'm back up to the area i was before I started running.  WTF?  I'm bitching and moaning and I feel like any effort I've put into anything has been wasted so I should give up on everything, every improvement, and stop trying to make changes.  I just want to eat potato chips and cry.  I still don't have an income, or understand Java.  Nothing is going fast enough and I'm letting myself and others down with my failure to perform above "moderately functional".

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