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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

what to wear

A trivial quandary.

I'm going to a party today of sorts.  My neighbor is having a food-filled gathering of friends and neighbors and invited me to join them.  I want to go because I believe in synchronicity and feel that there's a door to be knocked on at this event.  It's casual, from what I can tell.  So here's the question that feels HUGE; what do I wear?  Part of me wants to wear something I've made.  I know that at least one person there is a knitter.  It seems like a wonderful opportunity for positive attention, if nothing else.  The shirt I have in mind is sleeveless.  But then I look at my arms.  They're be-speckled.  Some of it is traditional bad skin and some of it is age blotches.  I haven't been able to get rid of them.  That's just how my shoulders look. I hate it.  I feel ashamed and want to hide them (which is really annoying because I don't enjoy making sleeves).  Meeting new people is difficult for me these days.  Do I add to my discomfort with shame about my body?  Or do I say 'fuckit' and wear the shirt I'm so proud of?  I know the answer my friends would give me is to wear the shirt.  It's still a difficult obstacle to overcome.

 

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