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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

decided

I've decided.  It's Doom Kitteh.  What I want from game is practice feeling powerful. I want to vent my frustrations, not gather more of them.   If I walk in with a 1st level healer, it will be frustrating for a long time, having to flee from combat.  I did that with Issalura already.  Tamsen isn't high level, but she's streamlined for raw power (the opposite of Issy).  For as long as my body holds out, I can be a weapon.  I won't run out of spells or alchemy.  I'll have armor, which helps a LOT.  (I need to get working on that trade.)  I had to go away from it for a while, but I am really relieved and grateful (thank you, Hoyce) to have this to go back to.  But now I have to go stud my armor.  *grumble*


Hyper-focus.  That's why I hated the work and the papers.  When I get triggered, I hyper-focus and dissociate.  I don't get the useful hyper-alertness so much.  I think that focusing with intent feels like focusing during trauma.  If I have to concentrate, it tickles the bad associations around hyper-focus.  I'm just theorizing here, hoping to find something deeper than laziness.

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