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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

a nasty taste

There are things going on that are None of My Business, but seem to leave a nasty taste in my mouth none the less.  They don't concern me, have less than nothing to do with me, don't harm me, and are pretty reasonable.  So why does it make me uncomfortable?  I don't wish anyone harm.  I suppose I'm assaulted by envy, little beast.  Maybe it's bitterness over losses I consider myself to have suffered.  I'm not jealous, but I do feel excluded.  Something in me that remembers being thiiiiiis close, only to fall apart all around me.  I'm a little disgusted with my humanity, for wanting the things I'm taught to want, knowing that no one wakes up with a new state of being because of some words.  I'm ashamed of my feelings in some of these matters, but there they are.  I don't like it.  I don't have to like it.  I have to accept these things as they arrive to me.  Facts.  "Now this is happening."

Today kinda sucked.  I was having one of those days where every stitch was off.  I stopped to clean up the kitchen and make some dinner.  Going to get back to it soon.  I have goals and things.

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Hugs!