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led astray

January 2013

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animeface

things we say

I often wonder what I can do to be supportive to others.  I am often stumped.  What do you say when a friend loses a relative?  How do you convince someone of their worth when their SO leaves them?  Can I bring a little levity to an astral sibling having health problems?  Is there anything I could say or do to clear a small space on a window of a house that is constantly splattered with highway gunk?  And how do I elicit a smile from someone when I discredit my own worth?  I think the best thing is to go back to the basics.  Start with 'please' and 'thank you' and work up to more complicated interactions.  I have been (on occasion) eloquent and tactful and said just the right thing to the right person at the right time.  The amount and intensity of stupid and hurtful shit I've said is greater than or at least equal to the amount and intensity of supportive and helpful shit I've spouted.  I'd like to always say the right thing, the positive thing.  I'd like to be a pillar of support and soft strength for the people I care about, but I'm a hot mess like the rest of humanity and I fuck up a lot.  But I try, and I think that counts for something.  I would gladly take back lots of the hurtful things I've said.  Not all of it, as some of it was fairly earned hurt.  I don't know where I'm going with this.  I think I feel helpless when I want to effect change, but I'm not 100% sure that if I had power I would always use it for Good.  There are times I want to say something and don't for fear it won't be the right thing and I end up saying nothing, which could also be the wrong thing.  People are confusing.

Comments

I hear you.

And fwiw, I feel supported by you - so at bare minimum, your way of communicating support matches up to how I best receive it.
(((hug))) Here for you.