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led astray

January 2013

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led astray

some whining

 I'm fucking lonely.  I must have sent out a dozen messages on OKCupid last night.  How desperate am I?  And how sad is it that I'm crushed to not have gotten any replies.  I used to be something of a catch.  I've been having a John Melencamp(sp?) line stuck in my head lately: Life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone.  I'm not young and spry and charming anymore.  I'm a used up chick with no goals or ambition who has gotten out of shape from sitting on the damn couch and eating pie.  I'm barely useful to myself.  How can I be worthwhile for anyone else?  Oh, big pity party here today.

**later

I smoked a bit and did the dishes and sang some.  Now I'm going to try that yoga DVD again.  C'mon, bootstraps!

Comments

Your usefulness isn't about being young or beautiful or charming (though personally i still think you are all those things.) it is about being you, and worthy because you are inherently worth it. you might not be able to believe that yet, but people around you believe it. i certainly do.

There is a difference between being overwhelmed and having given up. i hope you can find it.
(((((HUGS))))) Thank you so much.
The trick is not measuring how worthy we are, but rather to find in which ways we are worthwhile.
You're right. That's the main reason I like to cook so much. It makes me feel worthwhile.
I am so with you on this one. Cried for an hour last night because "geek boy" and I had a great time last week, but obviously not enough of a good time for him to get over being really bad about getting in touch with people to set up a second date. And as much as I like him and see potential, I'm trying to be done with chasing people who can't/wouldn't be an equal partner. No matter how lonely I am and how much I wanted things to go somewhere. :-/

Can't do it this week, but if you're interested, maybe we should go see "Tangled" together some night. Or I'd see Harry Potter again if you haven't seen it yet.
Absolutely, darlin'. (((hug)))