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led astray

January 2013

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i think i just grew up a little in my mouth

I had a crisis.  Well, I'm kind of in crisis lately.  I've been wearing Hoyce ragged with my emotional turmoil the last couple weeks and it has taken a toll.  And then he got bad news to deal with and had zero energy for my drama.  I thought, I'll call Q.  Then I remembered that I deleted his number to avoid this very situation...and something clicked.  I can't call Q.  It's Q I'm in distress about.  That revelation brought on a fresh bout of tears...and the world didn't end.  I still have shit to do tonight.  I can't just stop functioning because of a stupid boy.  It's so simple.  Very not easy.  This is what it means to be a grown up.  I'm horribly sad, jilted, and powerless to change anything.  And I still have to go do the dishes.  

Personal growth is ouchy.

Comments

::big safe hugs::
This is going to sound douchey but: I'm so proud. (((HUG)))
Nah, just truthy. Thank you so much for all your help.