?

Log in

No account? Create an account
led astray

January 2013

S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  
Powered by LiveJournal.com
led astray

it doesn't stop

The world keeps turning. Things keep going wrong. I know they won't stop going wrong, and that healing just makes me better able to handle things when they do go wrong. I've come a long way. I have a long way yet to go.

On top of the inherent difficulties one normally associates with poverty, I'm noticing that I have fewer friends and friend activities. I can't participate in much because I can't afford to go out much. I would love to pop down to Jersey every time I get an invite. Even going to dinner or a movie with friends near me gets difficult. And it's not the fault of my friends. It's isn't their responsibility to make sure I can be included. In fact, it's a damn difficult task and I don't feel right asking for it. I don't like being the grubby friend. I fucking loathe it. So I just don't get out much.

I have this sense of still not knowing what I want to do/be when I grow up. But I'm 30. I have my Bachelor's degree. I'm making a few more dollars an hour than I was before I got it, but not enough more to cover the cost of the darn thing. I need a path, a direction to pull myself out of fucking financial Limbo. I've considered getting a graduate degree, but I'm not sure in what. And I'm not sure it wouldn't be just more money I can't pay off later. Having a higher degree does not guarantee me a higher paying job. *grumble*

Well, I emailed the Professor who took us to Beijing (she and her friend wrote an awesome book about growing up during the Cultural Revolution that I highly recommend). She is going to meet with me to discuss further study on and in China. It's the best I've come up with.

Oh, and I came home last night to find Tink was hiding. She was sad that she threw up on my bed.

Comments

We're always happy to do free activities with you, as we're poor, too. :)

(Anonymous)

poverty and grad school

I have no idea what you're making now (none of my business), but when I was a TA in grad school, they paid me better than the hourly wage I had been making, plus I didn't have to pay tuition. It wouldn't hurt to look around for a grad school (even if it isn't the best school you could get into) that wouldn't leave you deeper in debt.

- Zac, who now has a livejournal account, but is too lazy to log in.

Re: poverty and grad school

Fyi, you only really have to log in once. If you tell it to it will keep you logged in. ;-)

(Anonymous)

Re: poverty and grad school

My work computer doesn't like cookies. Who doesn't like cookies?